Friday 19 April 2013

The Long Game


http://rochellewisofffields.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/wasp-nest.jpg
Image Janet Webb


The Long Game



They flew furiously, gloriously, soaring, sailing towards the searing sun; unencumbered by grasping gravity, joining the communion of the wind, sharing its soft whispered secrets.

I saw them and realised I’m not like the others. Kin scoff. Say I’m strange. But I am different for a reason. While eternal empires ebbed and flowed I planned.

It may take a thousand years, but, today’s smooth, stripy yellow stone will be transformed.

With whirling water, searing sun and fierce fickle frost, I will be ground down. First, to sand, then wonderful weightless dust. Finally, carried triumphantly aloft, I will be a wasp.



100 words

@nickjohns999

This story was written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields' Friday Fictioneers Challenge

13 comments:

  1. Nick, what an interesting idea! Evolution not recognized by Darwin. I really like your first sentence.

    If you change "They flew" to "They fly" and "I saw" to "I see", the tenses will all be the same and it will work better.

    jaent

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    1. Hi Janet. Thanks for your comment. I've been reading some rather surreal stories recently and I guess it is rubbing off.

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  2. Your words flow just as I imagine the character floating and flying. Great writing!

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  3. Very imaginative - loved it. Well done Nick

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    1. Thank you Sandra, I appreciate your comments, as always.

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  4. Dear Nick,
    This reads like poetry. Light and visual. I agree with Janet on the tenses.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

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    1. Hi Rochelle! It's interesting you say that. I had a couple of false starts at poetry with this prompt, but I guess, at heart, I'm just a dyed-in-the-wool storyteller.

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  5. I love the images you paint, and Rochelle's right, this does read like poetry - the lines almost dance and flit.

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    1. Thanks Sarah Ann. I haven't written much poetry since my teens, but I do enjoy lyrical writing and occasionally produce some myself. It's the Celtic side of me coming out! (Welsh)

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  6. I echo the others - this had a poetic feel.

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    1. Thanks Bill. I appreciate you stopping by.

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  7. A very unique take on the prompt. Well done nick!

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    1. Thanks Dobson, I had trouble with this prompt.

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