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© Renee Homan Heath
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Salt Water Wishes
The silky sand
slipped seductively between bare toes, relief after the
rough wooden slats.
Approaching the
water’s edge, hands shaking, she unstoppered the phial.
Flashback visions
of his smug, departing face stiffened her resolve.
Murmuring a garbled
Norn prayer, learnt at Grandmother’s knee, she consigned the seven precious
drops to the waves. It was done.
Later, sitting on
the dunes, the freshening breeze fluttering her sundress like a passing sigh, she
scanned the azure breakers for sight of him.
A salt stained hand
fell on her shoulder and she gazed up into sea grey eyes.
“Hello Mairi.
You summoned me?”
100 words
@nickjohns999
This story was written for Rochell Wisoff-Fields’
Friday Fictioneers’ Challenge
Click here for
the British folklore inspiration for the tale.
Lovely story, and thanks for the link. I learned something new.
ReplyDeleteHi Sandra! I've always been fascinated by British folklore, myths and legends. I'm currently in the early stage of developing a flash fiction cycle based around them. Thanks for visiting and for taking the time to comment.
ReplyDeleteThis story intrigued me and made me want to read more of your writing so well done. I also love the way that you have designed your page. Can't wait to explore more of your writing.
ReplyDeleteHi Nick For some reason I seem to have lost my comments but I wanted to let you know that I think you told the reader a wonderful tale using descriptive language. I love your page and look forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteHi Lindsay!
ReplyDeleteThanks for popping in. I'm really pleased that you enjoyed the story. It is always great to get feedback of any kind from other writers so thanks for that too.
Hi Nick, love your story. I found myself wanting to know more about Mairi. Well done
ReplyDeleteDee
Thanks Dee. I may seek her out again in the future!
Deletei like the mystery of the vial and what is inside it. well done. she must really need help. cool name, mairi.
ReplyDeletethis word - unstoppered - it's an adjective, not a verb. so you can't really "unstopper" something. but you can say, "she unstopped" the phial. or unplugged. uncorked.
Thanks for looking in - and for the critique. I welcome comments from other writers.
DeleteGood story. It reminds me of my origins and my encounter with a selkie on Lindisfarne. Ann
ReplyDeleteThanks Ann. I'm pleased that it struck a chord with you.
DeleteNick, what fun! I did a selkie Friday Fictioneers story some months ago. If you're interested, it's here: http://sustainabilitea.wordpress.com/2012/08/08/friday-fictioneers-legendary-love/. Did you ever see "The Secret of Roan Inish?" Good movie about this very thing.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this: "the freshening breeze fluttering her sundress like a passing sigh." Just a small thing, "salt-stained" needs a hyphen, which also gives you an extra word with which to play. :-)
janet
Hi Janet. Thanks for signposting your selkie - I am a newcomer to FF, so have a lot of archive to delve into :-)
DeleteThese folklore tales keep being re-worked for a reason, as they touch on universal themes, in this case love, longing and loss - among many others. Thanks for spotting the word saving. We flashers must mark each passing word like misers watching their hoard!
Dear Nick,
ReplyDeletethanks for including the link. I learned something. Nice take on the prompt. Left me wanting to know what happens next.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks Rochelle Another great prompt photo!
DeleteYour tale got me curios into the folklore, especially since I find a lot of it being the same as the Nordic one. I need to check this one.
ReplyDeleteHi Bjorn. Yes there are great similarities. This folklore comes from the Northern Isles of the UK and they share a great deal of history with the Nordic countries who ruled them for hundreds of years. This story is also apparently known in the Faroes and Iceland.
DeleteThis was a very haunting and mysterious story. I feared she was about to commit suicide when she unstoppered the phial, but then you went in a completely different direction. I wonder if he will stay around, but suspect she will be alone again soon. :-(
ReplyDeleteHi Anne! Thanks for taking the time to comment.
DeleteExperience (and folklore!) tell us that selkies never stay around ultimately.
Hi Nick,
ReplyDeleteI think it's really cool that you used folklore on which to base your story. I'm going to go take a look at your link and learn more. Ron
"unstoppered" --a great verb.
ReplyDeleteA little scary... something about to go down... what does this creature look like, I'm thinking...
ReplyDeleteI want to know what happens next! Terrific.
ReplyDeleteThanks Guys! This story has provoked the most comment of anything I've posted here. I'm always pleased when other writers comment.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting! My mind is racing with the possibilities of what she's up to
ReplyDeleteOh my - when she brought out the vial, I thought at first she was going to take poison, but you told a much stranger story. I suppose if she had looked too soon he'd have flippers instead of hands? One question - is "he" the one who abandoned her, or did she summon "him" as the start of a new love?
ReplyDeleteInteresting question! I had never considered that it might be her old man, but there might be another story in that aspect of the tale! Thanks
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