Monday 1 April 2013

Smoke on the Water





Smoke on the Water

Forty three people jumped the opening week. We were in trouble, but didn’t know how much until after the mist rolled in. Impervious to the freshening spring gales, a dank milky reeking haze shrouded the rocks beneath the bridge.
When six fire-fighters did not return from their grisly task of recovering that night’s smashed bodies, nor the two cops sent to search for them, the Chief stopped anybody entering the mist, closing the bridge completely.
Their black helicopter did not disturb the morning mist, nonetheless the Government men strutted confidently onto the bridge, brushing aside warnings. The watery light now revealed fifty one black posts, poking like rotten teeth from the pale gums of the mist.
The lead agent calmly vaulted the rail. His partner ran screaming for the land, and shot himself. Down below, slowly, silently, another post slithered from the newly roiling fog, now faintly redolent of brimstone.

150 words
@nickjohns999

This story was written for Angela Goff's Visual Dare Challenge

6 comments:

  1. Brilliantly macabre -- but all in how it is worded, in what's implied. Brilliantly executed. Gives me the shivers!

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  2. Thanks Angela. I never really took to the 'up to the armpits in gore and slipping on viscera' type of horror stories, even as a teenager, so, when I do write a horror-ish story I try to get the scares to emerge from inside the reader's heads.

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  3. It worked well with me Nick. The words I particularly love are - a dank milky reeking haze and poking like rotten teeth from the pale gums of the mist. As for your last two lines - chilling! Excellent work.

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    1. Hi Jenny
      Thanks for visiting. I pleased that the story reached you.

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  4. Reading this late so I will just say: I agree ompletely with the previous 2 commentors! SO very well done, Nick! :))

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    1. Thanks Jo-Anne. I enjoyed writing this one. Creepy but not gross is interesting to write!

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